-Information for Life-

Something challenged my "Not Texas" policy for better employment.

The name 'College of the Mainland' sounded so elemental, it just might work. And the corresponding website "www.com.edu" seemed to be a play on web domain names, perhaps even a cunning reference to the commercial and noncommercial dichotomy within educational institutions today.

They want skills I have - no exaggeration required. The money's good.

The penultimate paragraph of the ad is a motto that might have taken a focus group all summer session to produce:
COM Library, information for life...

We're on a roll, nothing can stop us now.
Nothing but the address:

Texas City, Texas.

Twin bolts of disappointment for my rods and cones.

Redundancy isn't the only problem, and my antipathy for the state of Texas doesn't begin and end at the borders solidified in the compromise of 1850. Nay, I have traveled through the Lone Star state and identified a number of unpleasant crass-culture epicenters, clusters of pejorative Texas-ness.

Dallas - Cowboy fans
Houston - Smog, Robber Barons, Codine Abuse
Canyon - Home of Texas A & M

You needn't be the late Alistair Cooke to discover that the image of "American" is synonymous with "Texan" abroad; the very image of excess, taken to excess. Still, I'm willing to cut the rest of the state some slack when they aren't identifying or reveling in pejorative Texas-ness, which I would liken to a sexual dysfunction.

Texas City, Texas. Should I apply? Maybe it would help if I knew exactly where in Texas Texas City is. Some research in the Government Documents and Maps department revealed the ugly truth: 35 miles from H-Town.

Damn.

Thanks to ArcView, ArcGIS and other tools, you can find maps representing the geographical spread of universities, sports teams, air pollution, drug addiction, and many other societal ailments. As of this posting, I did not find a good way to track the spread of Robber Barons. Until something better comes along, I can only recommend checking TV listings.

I will apply. If I get the job, I've got a plan. The Lone Star state could legally be divided into a number of smaller states. I'll work to make that happen on my off-duty hours.