-an HEIR to the HORNBOOK-

Greatest Hits and Missives
by Benedict Monk

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

-Arts and Sciences-

Just won't be happy until I'm a cad, will you?

In addition to the Playdate whom I did not repulse, the Student-worker is flirting hard to get my attention. And before I go any further, I see that some better names are in order. "Playdate" should never have been used as a noun here, only as an event. Our next outing will not include papa or her cousin, and she hardly qualifies for such a snotty moniker. As for 'Student-worker,' no one outside communist party leadership sounds right tossing that around.

How to name them? And yes, I am fully aware that my experiments in nomenclature may have played a role in the deterioration of past relationships.

The two women in question have names that begin with "A" and "S." This makes me think of "Arts and Sciences," (often abbreviated as "A & S") which is convenient - "A" is an art student, and "S" is going into the dental profession; she can stand in for science even if dentistry is not the "Science" in the academic sense implied by "Arts and Sciences."

Choosing between an Artist and a Scientist would not have required any deep thought on my part a few years ago. But age has shaken my certainty; much to my chagrin, I have no favorites at present.

And, lest you become revolted at what appears to be verbal egotism, a written kiss-and-tell, bear in mind that having two simultaneous romantic choices surprised me as much as anyone. I average one relationship per year, which is usually nasty, brutish, and short.

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