-Alpha-males, chatterboxes, and catch-and-release fishermen-

Let's hear it for those taproom names with built-in excuses. The Library. Church. The Office. "Don't wait up, honey.. I'm working late at "The Office."

He lives alone, and so does she, but there the similarity ends.
They spoke at great length about marriage, but they were joking.

And now, even as the fake married couple hurls darts against another fake married couple - more fake, as it turns out, since neither fake single jests at marriage outside this connubial game of darts - this designated driver mulls over coming projects at work, future bills, necessary purchases made and later found half-price and twice-quality elsewhere.

Because these thoughts are the antithesis of fun, intended to crash against his sobriety and his luckless realization of a sober social ineptitude. Without spirits, he lacks confidence. Without confidence, he cannot get himself a wife, real or fake, for three months or two hours.