-You only quip twice-

Vending machines with high priced items (say, ham sandwich sections for $2.75) take five dollar bills and make that pleasing "slot-payoff" sound in rhythmic quarter dropping.

Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk.

Inevitably, someone nearby will use casino humor.

Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk.
"Sounds like Atlantic City/Las Vegas!"
Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk.
"Big winner!"
Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk.
"Whooo! You own the slots!"

I could grit my teeth, but what good would that do? Far better to respond to the jokes with a tolerant laugh, one divided in half to make certain the joker doesn't get false encouragement. Half a "Ha!" is a "huh."

Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk, Ka-plunk-plunk-plunk.