-Table for One-and-a-half-

People often ask me: "Benedict, why not write a post for the kids?"

If I were Lewis Black, this is where I would reply: "Because I hate kids."

No! Of course not! I hate the questioners, who are invariably Children's librarians over the age of thirty who PRETEND THAT PUBERTY NEVER HAPPENED. Not simply at work, where such behavior is (arguably, but probably not) appropriate. Nay, they act this way EVERY DAMN DAY, to adults as well as children.

Oh, they will get theirs. Once I am their director, I will treat them like children. I will pay them in cookies and milk.

- But today I will do them a public service. I will connect them to this directory, and let them choose a treatment.

Children Actual, and Adults Acting like Children, learn from the little miss who sat across from me in the cafe the other day. Blond braids and an unabashed gap in her teeth, she was nearly ten, and perfectly capable of holding up her end of an adult conversation. Maybe we could not talk about social or political intricacies or alternative rock bands, but there's still plenty of material we could use: living in the city, subjects we enjoy in school, subjects we struggle with, recent movies, my coffee mug, her cocoa mug, coffee vs. cocoa (that got a bit heated), favorite foods, and art.

No goofy voices, thrown confetti, or high tech toys; it was a respectful exchange of ideas - The environment in which I taught children to read, in the Twin Cities, and in Richmond before that.

Adolescent Lucidity is not a Crime!