-Under Cover Letter-

Benedict Monk
Address: You know it! (wink)

H: (999) 999-9999
C: (999) 999-9999

January 22, 2004

Attn: FBI Headquarters

Your career fair booth immediately caught my eye. Me? I was the guy with the pompadour and the yellow and black tie. I'm sure your all-seeing, never-sleeping eye immediately caught me. All of you showed yourselves to be professionals at the top of your game, practically stunning me with that first penetrating question, where you asked both my name and field of study at the same time.

Almost stunned, but not quite. You see, I'm passionate about this government agency's commitment to voyeurism and interrogation. I'd be willing to spy my little heart out, freelance, if need be. But I'd be a good fit with your organization because I am a people person at heart, well acquainted with team sneaking.

For the past four years I have worked undercover in libraries, schools, media outlets, and major businesses connected to my temp agency. I was a reading specialist in a public library system one day, and a data-entry drone the next. True, there was some difficulty explaining the double-digit number of W-2 forms to the IRS, but I did what I imagined any one of your agents would do in that situation: file electronically, and explain to any representatives who called that I was the victim of identity theft.

That was a rewarding experience in many ways, but the second and third positions are more appropriate for your purposes: concurrent appointments to a Business School Library (circulation) and a Law Library (reference), both at a well-known and, um, special University within Fort Benning. Throughout this period, I have won the trust of the inner circle of collection development teams; archivists, genealogists, technical servicemen and women, liaisons, assassins, directors and outreach coordinators. Assuming a variety of roles and multiple clever disguises, I have learned their customs, their tongue, their religion, and also their policies for electronic and print materials.

Past employers have noted my unflappable temperament and ability to enable calm and compromise in conflict situations. These communication skills were further honed in my roles as a carnival roustabout, as that guy who swivels the STOP/SLOW sign at highway construction sites, and as treasurer for the Greater Appalachian Cult of Mary, three years running.

Past projects have given me a wealth of organizational expertise. A certified copyeditor and proofreader, I am accustomed to detail work, and the diligence such work requires. I am also no stranger to phone work, interviews, team-teaching, or unarmed paintball.

You will discover that I am versatile and energetic - ready to face the unexpected.

Thank you for considering my application. I hope to hear from you, if only in the form of an assignment that self-destructs after I read it.

Best wishes,

Benedict Monk

encl: resume